I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
