if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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