if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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