is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
