I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
now i know why i became what i already was.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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