I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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