Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
