Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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