it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
