Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
40s are totally the cure
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
