Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
