just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
