Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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