I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
