I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
