We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
