I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
