He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
