And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
