I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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