If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
