I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
