I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The power of my boobs compel you
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
