I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
