dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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