??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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