shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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