We're like a lot better than the average bears
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
