Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
