I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize