BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
