I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also, beer. Big fan.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
