Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
