i already hear my dad disowning me
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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