Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
