I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize