i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
