The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
