I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
