Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
