It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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