whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
