i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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