I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
