I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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