Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
