just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We're too hungover to prance.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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