Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
