I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
