I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
