I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
