did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
