can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
