I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
