try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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