Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You are the jesus of drinking
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
