Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
