You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
