Tell her she can't have a vagina
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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