i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
