did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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