I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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