I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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