Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
