have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
