There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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