grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
